Laura Durban, Claire Venus, Lauren Barber, Lyndsay Kaldor, Laurita Gorman |Therapist SEP, Georgia, and Emma Simpson - Thank you, Happy Women’s Day!
Did you ever let go of an old identity only to be faced with confusion before new parts of you emerged, evolved or even endangered your view of the world?
I have let go of myself or what I understood about myself multiple times in the past almost four decades of my life – from a rule following, strictly black and white, ‘morally high’ outlook to accepting the grey, human qualities and eventually from seeking external validation to attempting to ignore and not seek external validation to self-love or at least initiating a journey towards non-judgmental self-love.
This journey from the outside towards my inner self has been fraught with embarrassment, being harsh and critical towards myself, judging and doubting my thoughts, actions, needs and feelings. Mind reading the actions and words of others to further the self-doubt and external validation.
I have changed from a confident, go-getter, bad-at-setting boundaries student/ professional to a nervous, self-doubting professional dealing with imposter syndrome to my current state of a mixture of confidence, lots of self-doubt, yearning to dismiss external validation, better at setting boundaries and seeking non-judgmental freely given self-love. I am still learning to listen more than speak and communicate better – especially in confrontational conversations.
Which distortion have you freed yourself from and changed the narrative of your life?
I have freed myself from the notion that being selfish is bad, or being liked is essential, or I will be loved only if I give more or that I owe something to someone to be here in this world, living the life I live. This was painful, and took years, but every bit has been liberating and hopeful.
What needs to die in order to be reborn?
My sense of understanding of who I am.
If the Sirens would lure you onto their shores, what would they tell you?
Live and let live; let go, love yourself more. Your thoughts are not you; they will pass, and so shall you.
What elements do you connect with most? Do you feel the air in your wings or the salt water on your lips? The earth between your toes?
The earth – feeling with my hands and feet, specifically trees, whether barren, dead, alive or thriving, their roots, smell and the feel of their shadow.
What is your piece of tempting wisdom, your seduction of heart, body and mind?
Expression through art, if the inner self is content and happy it is unlikely that the self seeks out violence or validation of personal angst by inflicting violence on others. Embrace Change, listen more.
What is your chord of coherence, your dissonance of disruption, your pitch of purpose?
Kindness, Empathy and Acceptance, alone time and social time with people I love and admire and strangers.
What is your vision of wisdom for change?
Education – Reading, specifically more of Sci-fi, Literature of Marginality including Women’s literature (I think it helps in promoting empathy and equality), training in Listening, Non-violent Communication Skills, incorporating art, music and love for animals in curriculum as a must.
What is it that you want written on the billboards or screamed into the void? What message would you sing across the ocean?
I am ENOUGH.
You and I need love and community to grow, exist and thrive - Collaborate.
Leave the Other and Othering alone.
Thrive in Empathy and Unity.
Together is powerful.
You can lead with or respond to an inspiring quote from your favourite female voice. Or tell us about the most transformative female relationship in your life so far. If you could sit in circle with 5 other women here today or gone now, who would they be and why?
I want to talk of Franca Rame, – an Italian Actress, Activist – Ever since I read about her, she has been on my mind. I always want to speak of her and about her, she is inspiring and her work left a mark on me.
Franca Rame: Actress, activist and collaborator with her husband, Dario Fo | The Independent | The Independent – trigger warning – rape
Five women I would like to interact with for their minds, body of work and thoughts:
Franca Rame (Italian Actress and Activist)
Jane Austen (English Author)
Elena Ferrante (Italian Author)
Christina Rosetti (English Poet)
Ursula K. Le Guin (American Author)
In a world where we are constantly pressured to ‘have it all’… how do you stay centered and connected to your SELF and what truly nourishes you?
Through Art, sometimes writing – essays, poems. Daily art – as often and as much as possible brings me lots of joy. I have actively stepped away from social media and consumerism.
Reading about art, poetry, experiences, anything that interests me and inspires me to change/ challenge my views, expand my mind and work with my hands.